Living on
by crazychessgurl
Summary: Hawkkit is a promising warrior of Shadowclan but when an accident shatters her dreams how will she cope? Will she follow destiny or ignore and pursue her own path? When a mysterious cat haunts her dreams she must rise above herself and her clan for the greater good. My second story! HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE! Crazychessgurl
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys first few chapters may be short! 10 reviews for next chapter**

**No one's PO**

Hawkkit wakes up to a squeak and a "Oomph, Blackkit get off me!"

"Mom Lightkit is bullying me!"

"Am not"

"Are too!

"Amnot"

"Aretoo"

"Enough already!" Hawkkit squeaks frustrated by her littermates "Can't you two not fight for one day!"

"Nope!" they both say Hawkkit is a two moon old kit in the nursery at shadowclan. She has silver gray fur with black shadowing on her paws face and tail. Her two sisters Lightkit and Blackkit annoy her greatly. Blackkit as the name implys is completely black. Lightkit is a light brown with Calico stripes. They all argue 24-7 so their mom hardly visited them since they had tranfered to freshkill. Theeir mother, Stonehollow looked alot like Hawkkit in reverse, while their father, Bramblebriar looked a lot like Lightkit. They both constantly felt a need to compare them with their mother's sister, Brightwillow's kits, and with a ki9t from any earlier litter their brother Thornreed. So Hawkkit constantly felt like she wasn't good enough. She joined her sisters in fighting and was playing when.

"Ow!" She hissed feeling a sharp sting in her paw Lightkit emediatly stopped gnawing on Blackkit's tail

"Hawkkit are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Ouch!" she yelped putting weight on it

"You are not fine" comes the voice belonging to Brightwillow who had been more of a mother to them than Stonehollow "Come on I'm taking you to the medicine den."

"But Brightwillow" She protested

"No buts you are coming and that is final."

"Yes Brightwillow."

At the medicine den

"It's sprained pretty bad." muses Frogheart the medicine cat "Eat these herbs and stay off it for awhile."

"Yes Frogheart." When she gets back to the nursery Lightkit scampers up to her

"Are you ok? Wanna play? Let's play!" She says very fast

"No she can't play Frogheart said to rest for a few days!"

"Yes Brightwillow" both kits say disapointed. Hawkkit goes back to the den and lays down in her nest trying to resist the temptation to go out and play, hearing Lightkit and Blackkit playing does not help though she eventually drifts off into a restless sleep...

**Ok guys tell me what you think should I continue or no?**


	2. Moving forward

**Hey guys I'm back and plz remember that maybe because you don't like my writing style doesn't mean that you can use review and pm with hate I thought of cancelling the story based on how much hate pms I got so constructive critisism is fine but plz no hate-Doggirl**

"Wait, what?" I ask numbly

"I said you will never walk properly again Hawkkit." It has been four moons since I twisted my paw and three moons since infection set in and spread from my paw to my whole front right leg. Now I will probably never walk again and am in the leaders den with Frogheart Lionstar and Brightwillow- mother and father were killed by a badger when they were out hunting two moons ago

_Flashback_

_They drag two limp shapes into camp_

"What_ happened Brightwillow?"_

_"Badgers." she simply replied_

_"And where are their kits?"_

_"They are still sleeping." Brightwillow replies_

_"Then wake them so they can say their goodbyes" Lionstar sighs "They were both too young to die and their kits are too young to be parentless."_

_"They won't be parentless!" Brightwillow snaps when she returns from waking the kits "They will have me, and since they are four moons old soon they will have the other aprentences and lets not forget the clan will look out for them too!"_

_"Of course. Thats not what I meant Brightwillow, I..." Lionstar is cut off by a squeak originating in the nursery_

_"Stonehollow? Bramblebriar?" Hawkkit asks with grey eyes like moons_

_"When they wake will ask them to play badger with us?" Blackkit asks with a cocked head Hawkkit is the first one to notice the signs and her eyes glow with understanding and brimming with saddnes_

_"Blackkit don't you see? Can't you see the claw marks on their sides? Can you see them breathing? They are never going to be able to play badger with us again or cuddle us or praise us. Brightwillow how could you let this happen?" With a wail she flung herself at the bodies and dropped beside them while Lightkit and Blackkit look on with horror._

_"It's not true! Tell me it's not true!" Lightkit practically wails all Brightwillow can do is is choke out the words as she dips her head  
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_"I'm so sorry" she chokes out_

_"No" the other two wails as the fly over too the bodies and drop beside their sister  
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_"You were supposed to protect them!" Hawkkit sobs with accusing eyes pointed straight at Brightwillow_

_"It's ok I'll take care of you" she soothes_

_"No!" she is surprised by the venom in Hawkkit's voice "You promised you would protect them. You promised they would come back and you broke it. I hate you. I will never forgive you for this Brightwillow."_

Of course she eventually did but there was still an air of sadness around her and Brightwillow understood that.

"Now Hawkkit you have two options." Lionstar began and Hawkkit panicked inside only two? That really limited her future as he continued her heart plumeted

"You could move too the elders den with Snaketooth.." No way was that happening "Or you could train with Frogheart as a medicine cat." Wow! Those were really limited options. Be packed away to the elders with her sibling looking after her all day while she sat there useless or Help Frogheart in the medicine den which was something she had no interest in doing before she sprained her paw. So it was a choice between being useless and miserable or helping clanmates and being miserable. She always put the clan before herself even when her parents died. She had taken care of her littermates and made sure they were ok so this was not a difficult choice.

"I will study under Frogheart." and so began her new life as a medicine cat

**I had more but its sunday so me and a friend always go to a teen group from six to eight bye!  
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	3. A look inside the mind of Flamepaw

**Hi GUYS I'M BAAAACK**

Hawkpaw POV

It has been four moons. Four moons of torture that is. Torture, and sadness. Because of my stupid twisted paw I am now stuck in the medicine den 24/7, and I absolutley hate every moment. Frogheart is a great mentor and all and she is trying her best but ugh. Tonight I travel to the moonstone with Frogheart, Blackpaw, Lightpaw, and one older apprentice named Flamepaw. His sister was killed by a monster when she was patrolling the border with her mentor two moons ago. That was when I really started to detest being a medicine cat. Watching her life slip through my paws, knowing that if only I had been faster getting to the sight I could have saved her, and now I have to live with the guilt. Not to mention losing the only friend I had besides my littermates. I had gotton along well with the two of them, Finchpaw, a wiry sandy colored cat who understood my problems because she was born without half her tail and therefore unable to climb, and Flamepaw, a red strong, sturdy cat, with an angular face and amber eyes that seemed to calculate every move and the way his shoulders move when he walks and runs, it makes me feel protected and cared about. Well, after Finchpaw died he blamed me for her death saying that I could have saved her if my paw hadn't twisted and I ran faster, so I lost the only cat who understood me and the confidate that I could go to when I needed to complain or get away from my prison. A rustle of leaves and bramble snaps me out of my thinking

"Hawkpaw were you daydreaming again?" comes the voice of Frogheart "We really don't have time for this, wrap up those herb bundels and get out here!"

"Yes Frogheart" I sigh, well off to the moonstone

Flamepaw POV

What is up with her? Hawkpaw hasn't been herself lately and I'm worried. I know I shouldn't have yelled at her when Finchpaw died but it hurt and I had to take my anger out on somebody and she just happened to be the closest person. Now every time I get near her to try and apoligize her head sags and her tail droops and she walks away. I know she isn't happy in the medicine den and that she blames herself for the death of my sister, but I have a feeling it goes deeper than that. I only wish I knew what that reason was because I miss the way her eyes would light up when she had an idea or the way that her tail would swish as she walked to me, I even miss the way she would close her eyes and hold her face up to the sun when it shined during leafbare hoping to get a glimpse of it's warmth. Wow I must like her more than I thought. Starclan we have a problem.

#%*#%*Line Break*%#*%#

I sit next to the moonstone and press my nose to the cold dazzling rock just as the moon floats over the cavern. When I open my eyes I see someone I never thought I'd see again

"Hello Flamepaw."

**Who is it? first one to have the correct answer in a review gets a sneakpeak at the next chapter. Hint not his sister!**


	4. Me?

**hi i changed my name to crazychessgurl cause it suited me better. congrats to guest23098 for getting it right but I couldn't give u the sneak peak cause u guest lol.**

Flamepaw POV

It was Hawkpaw's mother. suspicously i ask

"Shouldn't you be visiting Hawkpaw?"

"No I can't when she comes to the moonstone she only pretends to be asleep otherwise she just sits there" seeing my bewildered look she hastily says "She believes in us and prays for us but she doesn't like seeing us again because it pains her to have to leave."

"So why are you contacting me?"

"I've seen the way you look at eachother."

"Well whatever our feelings are we can't she is a medicine cat."

"Well I'm only going to say this once so listen. Hawkpaw was never meant to be a medicine cat my mate is telling Frogheart as we speak. She will be a warrior apprentice and you will help learn her skills, this is crucial to the forest's survival!"

"What does Hawkpaw have to do with survival of the forest?"

"She posses a great skill that she hasn't unlocked yet because she hasn't had the chance, being a medicine cat. But there will come a time when she finds this power that most of the clan minus leader, medicine cat and a few others will turn on her. You must be there for her then, you will be her greatest ally."

"And if I say no?"

"The forest is lost" she says simply

"I will do it for Hawkpaw not the forest"

"Oh and one more thing" she turns and looks at me before she leaves "WAit for frogheart to tell her and a maybe a week after that to ask if you can start training her" and with that she leaves

**I know it's short but i hope u like it! Crazychessgurl out! peace!**


	5. SO SORRY

Hi guys. Living on is cancelled until further notice. I may start it up again when I have time but it is going no where so it will be marked as incomplete and I will try to get over writers block sorry so much and thank you to those who supported me


	6. Goodbye for now

I am sorry but I will not be updating for awhile my best friend just commited suicide because of some people at school. I was in the hospital when she went into critical condition after eatinbg lots of different pills. She was the person I told evertything. I am now depressed myself and also am thinking of suicide. so goodbye for awhile my friends and thank you to those who supported me. I will still be reading stories but I can't find it in me to write one. I am sorry. But one request before I leave on my hiatus, please think of the people you affect when you bully. That is someone's baby. Someone's best friend. Just think about it. Goodbye for now -Crazychessgurl


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